


In the Beginning

by Moira_Darling



Series: the Canon Compliant Adventures of Balthazar [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Brothers, Canon Autistic Character, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 09:42:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28349346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moira_Darling/pseuds/Moira_Darling
Summary: In the beginning, there were two brothers.This is the story of two Angels before the arrival of the Winchesters set them on a road of heartbreak and pain.
Relationships: Balthazar & Castiel (Supernatural), Gabriel & Lucifer & Michael & Raphael (Supernatural), Gabriel & Lucifer (Supernatural)
Series: the Canon Compliant Adventures of Balthazar [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2076147
Kudos: 8





	1. And the World was Without Form

He shifted and pulled his wings up over his head. Yawning, he wiggled down further into the down he was drowsing in.

Internally, he frowned at the persistent noise that was disrupting his rest. After it wouldn’t be quiet, he reached out blindly and felt around him.

On the edge of his reach, he felt another set of wings, and he could feel them shaking. As he scooted closer to them, he pulled the other angel towards him as well, wrapping it in his arms and wings.

The other angel didn’t struggle, and fell silent out of either shock or contentment. Either way, silence was restored and he burrowed back down into the warmth.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

A feather tickled his nose and he sneezed.

Breathe in.

The other angel’s hair was very soft he realized as he rested his chin on the other’s head.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Breathe in.

It was so soft here. So comfortable. So warm.

“-isn’t our father here?”

“Dad was busy.”

A third voice joined the other two, and the sound of it made him open his eyes just to see who could own such a beautiful voice: “Our father is busy, busy with his precious little apes.”

Three fully grown angels stood above the two fledgelings.

“Father always comes to see the newest angels, and since these are among the last, I thought…”

“He doesn’t have time for such petty things like his children.” The beautiful one said snidely.

“Luci, enough…” the short one sighed.

The beautiful one – Luci – relented. “alright, Raphael, who are the newest additions?”

“the bigger one is Balthazar, and he is holding Castiel.”

He blinked. He was Balthazar. He had a name. it felt so right, as though it defined his being, and it made him so happy to know it. He didn’t know what he had been missing before. And Castiel. The angel in his arms was Castiel. His brother.

The short one leaned in closer. “Castiel is very small.”

“he is among the last of the fledgelings, perhaps that has something to do with it?”

“or maybe our father is stunting his children by focusing so exclusively on those creatures.”

“Gabriel is right,” raphael said. “that is enough.”

Luci rolled his eyes and folded his hands behind his back.

“is he going to be okay?” Gabriel asked.

Balthazar wrapped his wings tighter around Castiel, suddenly worried what the answer would be.

“other than size, he seems no different than any other fledgling. He might be slower in development than his brothers, but I do not forsee any harm coming of this.”

Luci looked relieved.

Balthazar pulled his wing over his head and yawned again. He made sure Castiel was still in his arms, and then blocked out the conversation still going on above them and went back to sleep.

* * *

Balthazar sat opposite Castiel, biting his lip in concentration as he tried to make a flower crown for him.

Castiel was running his fingers through the grass, smiling as he looked up at the clouds in the sky above them.

“Hello, boys.”

Cas blinked and looked down.

Balthazar immediately jerked his head up, his attention focused on the new angel. “…I remember you. You’re Gabriel.”

“And you’re Balthazar.” He snapped his fingers and two round red things on sticks appeared in his hand. He handed one to each of the fledgelings and settled onto the ground beside them. “whatcha doing?”

Castiel watched him with wide eyes, and Balthazar answered. “…we’re playing. Cassie doesn’t like playing with lots of others.”

“and you watch out for him.” Gabriel started making his own flower crown. “those suckers are to eat.”

“Eat?”

“yeah. You lick them.”

Balthazar frowned and took a cautious lick. His eyes widened in surprise, and he stuck the sucker in his mouth.

Castiel followed suit, but then handed his sucker back to Gabriel.

Gabriel shrugged and stuck it in his own mouth. His hands worked quickly, and he set the soon finished crown on his head. “Ever been to earth?”

Balthazar shook his head.

“Want to go?”

“How?”

“I’ll take you there.”

Balthazar hesitated, and looked at Cas. “do you want to?”

Castiel shrugged. “Okay.”

“Okay then. Sure. We’ll go.”

“good! I needed a new excuse to see what’s changed.” He held out his hands to both the boys.

Balthazar took his hand first, and then Cas followed.

Both of the fledgelings blinked at the sudden change of scenery when they landed on earth.

Castiel frowned. “I don’t like it.”

“Why not?” Gabe asked.

“it’s too flat.”

“it is very flat – nothing’s right. Everythings just off a little, right Cassie?”

Cas nodded, and Gabriel looked between the two of them.

“well, this is earth. It’s made for mortals, and they think this is the most beautiful thing in existence.”

“They do?” balthazar wrinkled his nose.

Cas crouched down, gently patting the grass.

“Can we see them?” Balthazar asked.

“well…they aren’t exactly in existence yet. Dad is still…fixing them.”

“Oh. Then why does this exist?”

“he wanted a place to be ready for them.”

Castiel gasped, and ran off across the meadow. He fell to his knees beside a now empty groundhog hole, and then gasped again when the animal poked it’s head up through another hole.

Balthazar laughed and ran off to join his brother, trying to catch the animals who always vanished from the holes right before they were caught.

Gabriel grinned, licking his sucker. A wolf came up to him, and he started petting it while the boys ran to and fro across the grass.

* * *

The boys were panting as they trotted back to Where Gabriel had laid down with the wolf.

“why aren’t there these things in heaven?”

“They aren’t made for heaven.”

“well, why not?” castiel asked.

“Dad made it that way.”

Castiel frowned. “Well, that doesn’t seem right. Those creatures are good.”

Balthazar flopped down beside the wolf and ran his hands through its fur. “when do we get to be big like you?”

“when you are ready?”

“I’m ready now!”

Gabriel laughed. “when you're grace is ready then. Don’t’ worry. You’ll get there someday. When you need to be..” he added quietly.

“So this is where you ran off to, brother.”

All three angels looked up to where Luci was approaching them, picking his way around the holes in the ground.

Gabriel stiffened. “Luci, I’m not in the mood…”

“Relax.” He carefully lowered himself to the ground. “these are…Balthazar and Castiel, right?”

Balthazar nodded, and Cas kept his head down as he moved to Balthazar’s side and started petting the wolf’s fur too.

The beautiful angel looked around the meadow. “why would you bring them here? This is nothing like the beauty that heaven holds.”

Gabriel sighed.

Cas looked up. “You think that too? It just looks wrong.” He blurted.

“it’s flat, isn’t it. Not enough colour, or smell, or sensation.” Luci said easily.

They sat in silence for a minute, until Lucifer finally burst out: “How can this be better, Gabriel? Look at these two – our father wants to take everything from them and give it to those apes!”

Gabriel dropped his head into his hands.

“No, no. None of you will listen to me, let alone father – but I have to say it. Someone has to speak up for the children!”

“Luci, you can’t see the future, you don’t know what will happen.”

“No.” he admitted. “But he has explained some of it. They will ruin everything – the choice to choose wrong indeed. And then what, he punishes them for choosing wrong when he gives them that choice in the first place? How is that right? How is that good?”

“Luci, it isn’t our place-“ Gabe began quietly.

“then when is it our place? When is it finally time to speak up for ourselves? Look at this place – how can you see this, and agree that the humans are better than this? More whole than us? Even the fledgeling realizes this place is lacking.”

“Lucifer, I don’t want to get into this. I don’t disagree with you but-“

“But you won’t agree with me either.” He said bitterly.

“It’s not that.” He said, trying to placate the other angel.

“Then what is it, Gabriel? What will it take for you to see what a mistake this will be?”

Balthazar looked between the two angels.

“Pain, Gabriel. Pain is what will come into the world. How can you want that? Pain. Sorrow. Fear – do you really want the children to be afraid? And death! Death will come. That is what father is allowing into the world.”

“…I want to go back.” Castiel whispered to Balthazar, who nodded and gently touched Gabriel’s arm.

“Can you take us back please? We’re tired?”

Gabriel glared at Lucifer, who had the grace to look ashamed. “Yes, of course. Let’s get you back to heaven.

* * *

Balthazar flew across the meadow and clapped with joy. “Okay, now you try, Cassie!”

The smaller angle frowned in concentration, and then huffed when he didn’t move.

Balthazar flew back to his side. “It’s okay. You just have to concentrate a lot and it’s hard. But you can do it, I know you can.” He grinned and took his brother’s hands, flying them both across the field. Their landing was rough, and both tumbled to the ground with giggles.

“Balthazar. Castiel.”

Both boys sobered, looking up at the serious archangel.

“come with me.”

Castiel looked at his brother, and Balthazar quietly nodded.

“I am the Archangel Michael.” He said as he placed his hands on their heads and flew them back down to earth.

The boys looked around, and then Cas squeeled, hopping from foot to foot. Balthazar looked down at the cold snow and knelt down and ran his fingers through it.

“this is winter. The humans will love it.” Michael knelt down too, taking his hands and forming a ball out of the snow.

Cas was still hopping in the snow, not leaving a foot down for too long, but Balthazar copied Michael’s movements. He held his ball for a moment, and then he tossed it to Cas.

He caught it, held it with surprise, and then tossed it straight up into the air with a laugh. He bent down, grabbed another handful of snow and threw it up in the air, wriggling when it fell back down onto his shoulders.

Balthazar made another ball and threw it from Cas’ opposite side, freezing when it missed the little angel and hit Michael in the face. “…sorry?”

Michael didn’t move for a moment, and then he wiped off his face. He made a small ball and tossed it gently back at Balthazar.

“what’s this? Inventing a new game without us?”

Michael stood up. “Gabriel.”

“or were you just picking on the fledgelings out of spite.” Lucifer commented, picking his way gingerly through the snow.

Gabriel rolled his eyes, stooping to pick up a handful of snow and dumping it over Lucifer’s head.

All the archangels froze until Castiel giggled and Luci rolled his eyes.

Gabe grinned. “Come on boys, let’s take Mikey down.”

Balthazar grinned, flying to Gabriel’s side. Cas was running right behind him, kicking up snow .

Michael and Lucifer glanced at each other, and then Lucifer grinned. He snapped a ball of snow above Michael’s head and let it fall. “We are going to win.”

Cas cheered.

Michael reluctantly smiled, and made a snowball.

“Oh, it’s on brother dear!” Gabriel crowed, snapping a wall of snow up in front of him and the two fledgelings.

Lucifer appeared beside them, already making another snowball. “are you afraid, Michael?”

“I am never afraid.” He threw two snowballs, hitting both Gabe and Luci right in the face.

Gabe sputtered, having eaten half the snowball.

Castiel plunked down on the ground, starting to make a pile of snowballs next to Luci.

The archangel looked down at the pile and blinked before shrugged and taking them, rapid firing them at his older brother.

Michael dived out of the way. “That – that’s cheating!”

“No such thing as cheating in a game, right?”

Gabriel sputtered more. “what about me?” he looked at Balthazar. “Don’t I get supplied?”

Balthazar grinned and threw his own snowball. “Nope!”

“the- the…insubordination!”

“I don’t know what that means.” He just grinned and started making another ball.

Gabe just stared at him, and then huffed and started making his own ball, glaring at Luci when he felt the archangel smirking at him.

Michael dusted off his robes. “If you want to take it from here…”

Lucifer nearly pouted when the oldest archangel vanished back to heaven. He let the snowball he was holding fall to the ground, brushing his hands off with faint disgust.

“Well, if we are finished-“ he broke off as Castiel tackled his legs, closely followed by Balthazar.

Gabriel grinned and stole Castiel’s mound of snowballs for himself, firing them at Lucifer as he fell to the ground. He laughed, picking up an armful of snow and dumping it over the other three angels.

Lucifer squirmed out from beneath the giggling fledgelings “this-this is mutiny!”

“won’t exist until the humans do.” Gabriel sing-songed.

“It’s distinctly unpleasant.” Luci said primly.

“’It’s distinctly unpleasant’” Gabriel mimicked. Snapping his fingers, all four angels were dropped into a mud pit. He smiled innocently. “is this better?”

Luci opened and closed his mouth in shock – not anger yet. It hadn’t set in yet.

Cas held his hands above the mud, his expression much like Lucifer’s.

Balthazar looked down at the mud and then smacked it. “What is this?”

“Mud. It’s another earth thing.” Gabe said, flopping down into the mud.

Balthazar tried to make a ball of the mud. He grimaced. “I liked the white stuff better.”

Cas suddenly disappeared from the mud pit, appearing on the clean grass. He was grimacing, and Lucifer appeared next to him, cleaning them both up with a snap.

Balthazar flew next to him and patiently waited to be cleaned.

Gabriel stuck his tongue out at them. “You’re no fun.” He trudged out of the mud and cleaned himself up.

Lucifer sighed, picking up Cas. “Let’s get the two of you back to Heaven, hm?”

Castiel rested his head on Luci’s shoulder.

Balthazar held his hands up to Gabe with a grin.

The archangel huffed and lifted the fledgeling, flying them both back up to heaven with Lucifer close behind.

* * *

Castiel sat cross-legged beside the stream, watching the fish swim by him. Balthazar was lying on his back staring up at the birds dancing and wheeling in the sky. He was humming a song, and Cas would jump in randomly with his own song that harmonized somehow.

Gabriel suddenly appeared right beside the fledgelings. He flopped down on the ground and glared up at the sky.

Cas glanced up for a moment and then went back to watching the fish. Balthazar twisted his head to watch the archangel. “You don’t look happy.”

“What are you talking about? I’m always happy. Just the epitomie of joy.” He muttered.

Balthazar sat up. “wanna play?”

“Has foreplay been invented yet?”

“What’s foreplay?” Castiel asked.

Gabriel sighed. “Come on.” He sat up. “I’ll teach you how to play hide and seek.”

“Hide and seek?”

“It’s a game. You pick one person to close their eyes and count to a specified number while everyone else hides. Then the first person goes and finds everyone and the last person to be found gets to be the next seeker.”

Balthazar tilted his head. “Okay. But you have to seek first.”

Gabriel shrugged and nodded, covering his eyes and starting to count.

Balthazar peered at him for a moment, making sure Gabe wasn’t peeking, before grabbing Cas’ arm and pulling him up. “come on, Cassie – we’ve got to win!”

Balthazar led his brother through the halls of heaven, ducking around the other angels as they went to and fro on their work, peering into rooms as he passed them.

“where are we going, Balthazar?”

He shushed him, leading the way, lighting up when he saw the room he was looking for. Then he suddenly jerked Cas back as he heard voices behind the half-closed door.

“-crazy!”

“it isn’t like that.” The second voice was serious. “he knows what he is doing.”

“no, he doesn’t! he doesn’t know what he is doing, and he doesn’t care. He is just following his imagination, and doing whatever sparks his interest and it is only going to lead to pain!”

“You are being dramatic, Lucifer.”

“Am I? am I really? Have you heard the plan he is cooking up? Some bullshit about choices and free will and a plan and a showdown-“

“But he has a plan. He does know what he is doing.”

There was a groan, and Balthazar leaned around the door to see Lucifer scrubbed his hands over his face. “He already has children, and when was the last time he walked with them? Talked with them? Taken a minute to teach a fledgeling to fly or watched a novice work through the rudiments of swordwork?”

“He is busy-“ Michael started.

“Busy with what? Oh, right, his pet apes. Completely useless, vulnerable to everything under the sun and just waiting to have to be rescued again and again. And who is going to have to rescue them? We are.”

“Luci-“

“No! Someone has to point out the obvious and if you are so busy kissing up to dear old father’s ass, then I will be the bad guy-“ he broke off as Cas leaned against the door and it squeaked.

Balthazar breathed in sharply, and gripped Castiel’s hand tightly as he hightailed it back to the meadow where Gabe waited.

He yelped as he ran face first into Gabe’s legs.

“found you…are you okay?”

Balthazar looked up, breathing in heavily. “Sorry…”

“Sorry for what – are you okay? Who’s after you?” he crouched down.

“what’s a human?” Cas asked quietly.

Gabe sucked in a breath and sat back on his heels. “They get load, don’t they.”

Cas nodded. “Are they going to take you away too?”

“What? No! never. I’m not leaving you little guys.”

“But Luci said father did…”

“He’s just…busy. He’ll be down to see you guys very soon. You angels are just more independent than humans are. They need more care.”

“Luci said they will need to be rescued. Is that why angels have to learn how to fight?” Balthazar asked.

Gabe winced. “Among other things. There are…there are a lot of things in the world that need to be stopped, and…but you have a long way to go before you need to worry about that.” He smiled slightly. “Come on. Let’s make cookies.”

“Cookies?” Cas asked.

He grinned. “You’ll love them.”

* * *

“ATTENTION. ALL ANGELS REPORT TO THE THRONE ROOM. ATTENTION. ALL ANGELS REPORT TO THE THRONE ROOM.”

Balthazar bolted upright, and then promptly tumbled from the tree he had been lounging in.

Castiel looked around, confused. “what? What happened?”

“Gabe and Luci are probably in trouble again.” Balthazar said, standing up and brushing himself off. “Come on, we’d better go see what they did this time.”

“We’ve never been summoned for one of their pranks before.” Cas said, obiedeintly trotting along after his brother.

“well, maybe Michael actually got to God – our father, I mean, before they could stop him.”

“maybe.” Cas said.

Balthazar led the way to the throne room, and stopped when he saw all the angels blocking their way, and their view.

Cas looked to Balthazar for his decision.

Balthazar looked around, ignoring the low mutter of angels talking around them. He brightened when he saw one of the pillars lining the side of the throne room had a large ledge at the top, and he flew himself and castile up there. He grinned, sitting down and swinging his legs over the side. He patted the ledge beside him. “now we can see everything!”

Cas sat down, idly swinging his legs as he looked around the room.

Balthazar looked down, and then grinned and pointed. “Look, there’s Gabe!”

Cas grinned, and then waved down at the archangel, nearly toppling off the ledge.

Balthazar yanked him back. “Careful, Cassie. Don’t want you to turn into a flat smudge.”

There was a commotion at the entrance to the throne room, and Lucifer entered, followed closely by Michael.

Someone stepped out from behind the throne, and moved to stand by Gabe.

Lucifer sauntered up to the floor before the throne, spreading his hands out and looking at the figure who stood beside Gabe. He said something, and although Balthazar strained to hear, they were too far away for the quiet conversation going on below them. He huffed and crossed his arms, looking around for a better vantage point and then giving up and returning his attention to the archangels.

Michael had his hand on his sword now, and Gabriel was standing stiffly as Lucifer’s voice rose.

The new figure was calm, and he answered Lucifer’s rant.

Cas frowned. “I don’t think it was a prank.” He said quietly.

“-why are they better than us?” Lucifer’s nearly screamed response to whatever the calm figure was saying cut off Balthazar’s response.

He returned his attention to the conversation below them, but the volume had dropped back down to indecipherable. He shifted with boredom and returned to looking around, but Castiel’s attention was riveted.

Suddenly, Cas reached out and gripped Balthazar’s arm roughly. “Balthazar? What, what are they doing?”

Balthazar snapped his attention back to the floor of the throne room. Lucifer looked furious, and behind him, Michael was readying a long length of chain. He looked to Gabriel, and frowned when he saw the archangel standing stiffly and not doing anything.

The calm figure reached out for Lucifer’s hands, and Luci jerked them back. He said something else, and then the figure stepped back and Michael stepped forward with the chain.

Balthazar watched with shock as Michael threw the chain around Lucifer’s chest, and he looked to Gabriel, expecting him to do something.

The calm figure stepped past, putting a hand on Gabriel’s shoulder for a moment before he took his seat on the throne and Balthazar realized it was god.

Gabriel stepped forward, and his unsteady voice was clearly audible even where the boys sat. “Lucifer is cast out. For henceforth and forever he is cursed, forbidden from the brotherhood of the angelic host. He…He is condemned to prison, to be locked in hell until the….until the end of the world.” Gabriel finished just as Michael finally succeeded in wrestling lucifer to his knees and securing him in his chains.

“is this it then?” Lucifer screamed. “you would choose them over me? Over us? Your own children?”

God said something, and Lucifer spat, his anger and hurt visible even from their distance.

“it isn’t a free choice if you – if you punish them for choosing wrong!” he screamed, struggling as Michael dragged him out of the throne room.

God finally raised his voice. “You force me to do this!”

“You are the almighty creator: nobody makes you do anything!” he screamed as the doors slammed behind him.

Something wet trailed down Balthazar’s face and he reached up and touched it. His finger came away wet. He frowned, his breathing shaky as he turned to look towards Cas.

Castiel’s face was white, and he turned to look to Balthazar. He was clearly lost, and Balthazar didn’t have the answers to take that horrified look off his brother’s face.

“So shall it be for all those who go against our father, and- and the humans. They are to be protected. They are to be loved. They-they are our brothers.” Gabriel announced, as behind him god turned his face away from the sight in front of him.

The humans. It was all about the humans, Balthazar realized. The thing he had heard whispers about – had heard the archangels fighting about.

He looked down to where Gabriel was watching the scene too, wrapping h is arms and wings around himself.

Cas was shaking, looking from Luci to Balthazar and back. “Balthy?”

“It…it will be okay, Cassie.” He promised, wrapping his wing around his brother. “it will be okay. I won’t let anything happen to you. That won’t happen to you. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

He blinked, suddenly realizing that he was bigger than his brother, that his wing was suddenly big enough to completely shield his brother from everything around him. He looked down at himself, suddenly a full grown angel, and he sighed, felling like he lost something then.

But he looked down at the small fledgeling beside him – the little angel who had agreed with Lucifer about the earth so much – and he swore that he would make sure Castiel was heaven’s perfect angel, and humanity’s strongest defender.


	2. Brother is Born for Adversity

Balthazar idly swung his sword in his hands, leaning against a tree as he stood guard over Eden. He sighed, watching the horizon.

It was pointless – just a show of strength. The humans were probably long gone and wouldn’t dream of coming back, and in a few days Michael would recall him to heaven to return to the training regimen.

He grimaced as he thought of that, and lifted his sword so it glinted in the sunlight.

“Balthy? …Balthazar?”

He frowned, turning back to look into the garden.

“Balthazar, where are you?”

“…Cassie?” he asked, putting away his blade and stepping away from his post.

Castiel came around the corner of a hedge and lit up when he saw the other angel. He sprinted across the lawn and flung himself into Balthazar’s waiting arms. He hung tightly onto Balthazar’s neck.

“Hey, Cassie, how did you get here?” he looked around for another angel as he walked back to the gate. “You’re supposed to be up in heaven.”

“I missed you.” He muttered into Balt’s neck.

He sighed, sitting down. “I told you I would be back soon, hm?”

“Heaven isn’t good without you. Rather even be in this flat place if you’re here.”

He stilled, and then pulled back from Cas. “You cannot say that. This is a beautiful place, and you will guard it.”

“don’t wanna. Can’t we just stay in heaven?” he asked plaintively.

“it isn’t that bad. There’s snow here, and rain, and…” he trailed off as Castiel started watching an insect that was flying around their heads.

“What’s that?”

“a bee – one of the better, I mean…” he trailed off with a wince.

Cas reached out and gently tried to touch the bee. He giggled when the insect landed on his finger.

Balthazar smiled. “They make honey and make flowers grow.”

“What’s honey?”

He snapped up a spoonful of it, handing it to Castiel.

He frowned, and then cautiously licked it. He grinned. “this is good.”

“it is, isn’t it. Earth has a lot of things like this. And probably even more once the humans really get going.”

“Can I see one?”

“See what?”

“a human.” He watched as the bee flew away into the sky.

He winced. “They…aren’t here right now. They’re busy.”

He frowned. “What could they be busy with? Do they have training too?”

“Something like that…” he snapped up a peach and handed it to the fledgling.

“What is this?”

“food. Try it.”

“Food, whiskey – what’s the difference…”

Balthazar blinked at the new voice, and twisted around to see Gabriel weaving out from the garden. He held a bottle in his hand, and somehow managed to look disheveled, but on purpose.

“Oh, hey there, kids. Having fun?” he looked over the now full sized Balthazar and took a drink from his bottle.

Castiel grimaced. “That smells awful.”

“Does it? Well, it tastes awful too. A wonderful human invention – although those two apes haven’t gotten around to it yet. Sooner or later they will…”

Balthazar frowned. “…are you okay, Gabriel?”

“of course. Of course I’m fine – why wouldn’t I be? Just peachy keen.”

Cas looked down at his peach in confusion.

“it isn’t like I lost my brother or anything. It isn’t like Dad’s gone off the deep end. It isn’t like my family is falling apart-“

“Gabriel!” Balthazar snapped. “It was for the best.” He said firmly, very aware of Castiel’s little ears listening. “Our father has the perfect plan, only good will come of this. Humanity will bring only good to the world.”

Gabe sneered. “Look at you, Micahel’s perfect little spokesperson.”

“Gabe, look…maybe you should go home.”

He snorted. “sure. If that’s what you want to call it – don’t worry, I’ll leave you alone.”

Balthazar blinked as Gabe disappeared with a flutter of wings.

There was silence for a minute until Cas spoke up cautiously. “…what’s wrong with Gabe?”

He sighed. “I don’t know, Cassie. He’s probably just tired. Don’t’ worry about him. He’ll be back to normal soon.”

“Okay.” Castiel snuggled closer to Balthazar and closed his eyes. “I hope so.”

* * *

Balthazar stood at attention, watching Michael stalking around the table. He looked at the other angels waiting in the room and he shifted his weight.

Raphael was leaning against one of the pillars, listening to his brother rant, and Balthazar tuned back into the conversation for lack of any other distractions.

“-utter depravity. Humanity has gone too far.”

Okay, so maybe Michael’s rant wasn’t much more distracting. It was the same exact thing he had been talking about for the last god only knows how long. Except god didn’t know how long because god wasn’t here and Michael was mourning the downfall of human kind.

Or something like that.

Michael was still talking.

“-wipe them out.”

Wait a second. That was a new tangent.

“We must start over. Wipe out the disgusting abomination that humanity has made of themselves and start over with a fresh sprout.”

Raphael straightened and came over to the table. “Brother. That is a bold action.”

“Bold is what is necessary. This has gone on for too long.”

“But the choice-“

“No. they have chosen wrong. It is past time for a fresh start.”

“But father-“

“Father is not here.” Michael stopped pacing. “I will send Gabriel down tomorrow to warn the righteous. And then we will wipe out the vermin.”

Balthazar stiffened. This…this didn’t feel right. How could this be right?

Raphael frowned. “if you can find Gabriel.”

“Gabriel will fulfill his role. He must grow up and face reality.”

“Michael-“

“No,” the archangel snapped. “he is burying his head in the sand and pretending everything will go back to normal.” He slammed his hand on the table. “We are still a family.”

Balthazar went back to looking around the room. He had heard enough of that particular conversation.

* * *

He could only stare on in horror as the waters rushed through the crecent. As they washed through fields and houses and buildings.

As they washed away families.

They tried to save themselves, of course. Tried to save the children.

And the children. The pure, innocent children. Every one of them helpless, desperate. Parents pushing them onto doors, onto roofs. Pushing them onto anything that would float, only to watch them get sucked down into the eddies and whirlpools caused by the rushing water.

And he couldn’t do anything. None of them could. They had opened the fountains on Michael’s orders, and now they were to stand by and ensure that every single human was wiped out.

“Beautiful, isn’t it. Do you think this is what our caring father had in mind when he turned them loose on the garden?”

Balthazar didn’t jump at the sound of Gabriel’s voice behind him. “They were mired in sin.” He repeated flatly.

“You don’t believe that.” Gabriel stepped up to stand beside him, looking up at him. “I can tell.” He smiled flatly, taking a sip of something from a bottle.

“it is the right thing to do.”

“Can you hear that? Hear those screams? That’s a baby that just drowned. Next to it is the big brother that was trying to keep it afloat. Downstream there’s a pregnant woman getting sucked into a whirlpool. Her husband is clinging to the tree where he lost his grip on her. Upstream-“

“Enough, Gabriel.” Balthazar snapped. “Does this mean you have finally chosen a side to stand on?” he turned to look at the archangel.

He laughed. “I’m on no one’s side. I’m just here to watch the shitshow play out.” A tear welled in his eye.

“Benevolent, aren’t you.”

“Oh, I gave up on benevolence when my _family_ decided to rip itself apart for a bunch of hairless apes that don’t even know enough to take care of themselves. Charming, isn’t it. Think this is the paradise that Dad had in mind?”

“they chose wrong.” He repeated stubbornly.

He took a swig of his drink. “that’s what Michael says, doesn’t he… And you, following in his footsteps like a good little soldier. How is Cassie, by the way?”

“Leave him out of this. He will fill his role admirably.”

“keep telling yourself that.” Gabriel looked out over the carnage.

They stood in silence as the first wave of water subdued into a less violent river.

Gabriel held out the bottle to Balthazar, and the angel accepted, taking a swig. He grimaced at the burn as the alcohol went down his throat. “What is this?”

“Whiskey. A bit anachronistic but…the very least I can do is enjoy myself while watching Rome burn.”

“rome?”

“Don’t worry about it, Balthy. A bit early for that.”

Balthazar looked back out at the flood. He was quiet while Gabriel finished his bottle and threw the empty vessel into the water. “…I have to follow Michael, Gabriel. I have to make sure Castiel does too. I…I can’t watch him be dragged away like Luci was.” He finished quietly.

Gabriel turned to look at him and then patted him on the shoulder. “Don’t bite off more than you can chew.”

* * *

“why can’t I have a sword?” Castiel asked, holding Balthazar’s blade in front of him.

“You’re too little for a sword.”

“I am not!”

“That blade is nearly half the size of you, Cassie.” Balthazar said, coming up behind Cas and lifting him up into the air and spinning him around.

Castiel giggled, letting his legs fly out. “Faster!”

“You have wings, this is nothing compared to the speed you can get up to in flight.” He said, even while he obliged the fledgling by spinning around faster.

“But this is with you!” he said, laughing.

Balthazar chuckled, flopping down into a seat on the ground and wrapping his arms around the fledgling.

Castiel sighed happily, dropping the blade. “Why are you always gone, Balthy?”

“I have work to do, you know that.”

“But I miss you…”

“I know. But I will always come back. I am never going to leave you.”

He was quiet. “…Luci left.”

“Lucifer had to leave. He…did some bad things. Tried to hurt a lot of people.”

Cas pouted. “he was nice. He wouldn’t hurt us.”

“No. But he wanted to hurt the humans.”

“Maybe they deserved it then.”

“no.” Balthazar pushed Cas back to look into his eyes. “No. They don’t deserve it. They have so much potential – so much hope. That’s what makes they priceless: their hope. Okay? Their potential for good. We have to protect that potential, protect their future.”

“What if I don’t want to?”

“You will. When you get to know them, you will love them. They are our father’s best creations.”

He pouted, and then twisted around as they heard someone come bumbling through the forest on the other side of the meadow towards them. He brightened when he saw Gabriel step into the meadow. “Gabe!”

Gabe looked up and then flew to the boy’s side. “…I fucked up.”

Balthazar raised an eyebrow at the archangel and picked his blade up, putting it away.

Gabriel sat down on the ground beside them. “I fucked up.”

“how?”

“….i may have told some peasant girl that god sent me to ‘help’ her conceive the son of god?”

Balthazar stared at him. “You..what?”

“Humans have their…perks. And women is the least of them. Or best of them.” He smiled thoughtfully and then shook himself. “But this one – such a pretty thing – she had some vow of celibacy or something… so I told her I was sent from god and she was going to have the son of god. And, well, now she actually _is_ pregnant.”

Balthazar stared at him, and then started laughing.

Cas looked up at them both and then smiled while Gabriel looked distinctly uncomfortable.

“You don’t understand – Our father was _very_ strict about Nephilim. And the angels that make them.”

“Ah yes. There is the self preservation.” Balthazar said dryly.

Gabriel glared at him, and Balthazar rolled his eyes. “Just tell everyone else that God sent you down. Apparently no one else has seen him, so who is going to counter your story?”

Gabriel opened his mouth, and then sat back and considered it. “You know what, that might actually work…”

“What’s a Nephilim?” Cas asked.

“a monster.” Balthazar said firmly.

“Well-“

He interrupted the archangel. “No. It is a monster. They are forbidden, and must be exterminated.”

“Is that what you are going to do?”

Gabriel opened his mouth, but then at Balt’s glare, he just nodded his head.

Castiel nodded and then looked at Gabe. “Do you have a sword too?”

He smirked. “I have…” he trailed off. “yes. I have one.”

* * *

Balthazar pulled Cas into his lap, running his fingers through his wings. “You need to take better care of these things, Cassie.”

“why?”

“You’ll need them. They are a manifestation of your power.”

“what power?”

“the power you will grow into.” He said, straightening and smoothing a particularly roughed up feather.

He flung himself back. “Want to be big now so I can go with you! Anael grew up the other day, why can’t i?”

“You are the smallest; it will just take longer to be grown.”

Castiel pouted.

“Is this the plan? Is this what our father had in mind when he flew off to god only knows where?”

Balthazar looked up. “Are you _drunk_ , Gabriel?”

“so what if I am.” He took another sip from his bottle.”

Balthazar glared at him.

“What are you talking about, Gabe?” Cas asked.

“They butchered him. He talks about loving one another, and they butchered him for it.”

“who?”

“Nobody. Just a good person. Focused on bringing peace to the world. And politics and hatred murdered him.”

“Why does that upset you?” Cas asked. “it’s just one human.”

Gabriel screamed, throwing the now empty bottle.

Balthazar ducked as the bottle narrowly missed his head.

“is this what you wanted, father? Is this what you had in mind when you swanned off on your own personal vacation away from the hellscape this has become?”

Cas shifted. “…Gabe?” he asked quietly. “what are you talking about?”

“Nothing. He isn’t talking about anything – he is just drunk.”

“Nothing? Nothing? Those are human lives we are talking about – the most supposedly precious things in creation. Our god’s most perfect creation.” He laughed.

Cas looked at Balthazar. “I thought father wanted us to protect the humans?”

“He did. He does. Protecting humans is our role. Our sacred mission. There is no greater honour than to serve a human.” Balthazar said seriously.

Gabe laughed. “is that what he’s told you – is that what he’s telling you? Protect the humans? We’re playing a game, little Cassie. There is only one way this is going to end, and spoilers! It ends badly for the humans. A war to end all wars, fought on their homefront.” He stepped towards Balthazar and Castiel. “And the angels aren’t on their side. They never have been, and they never will be. Who knows? Maybe dear old Luci was right after all.”

“Gabriel.” Balthazar said sternly.

Cas shifted uncomfortably.

“what? Afraid-“

“Gabriel. Leave.” He snapped.

The archangel stilled, and then disappeared in a flutter of wings.

Balthazar waited for a moment, and then went back to grooming Cas’ wings.

“…is what he said true, Balthy?”

Balthazar shook his head. “No. of course not. Gabe…he was always closest to Luci. He is just stressed. Imagine how I would feel if I lost you?” he smiled, poking Cas in the side.

He smiled, but there was worry in his eyes. “I’ve never seen our father, what if-“

“Michael knows what he is doing. We protect the humans – they need us. There are so many monsters that want to damn humans. It is our job to keep them pure and usher them into heaven.”

“But-“

“But nothing, Cassie.” He said gently. “The humans are a beautiful creation – we will see them all raised to perfection.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.” He said. “Now enough seriousness, let’s get your wings straightened out.”

* * *

Balthazar stepped into the throne room, looking around at the collection of fully grown angels and taking note that none of fledgelings were in there with them.

“What is this about, Balthazar?”

He turned to look as Anael came up beside him. “I have no idea.”

“It is good to see you.” She said.

He nodded, and then looked up as Michael stepped to the front of the throne dias.

“My brothers. I have sad news for you. We have lost one of our best angels today.”

Raphael was standing behind him, stiff.

“We have lost the archangel Gabriel. He was caught by a band of demons and sacrificed himself to slay them all. He was a strong warrior. He….angels….served the…”

Balthazar heard Michael’s speech begin to fade in and out as the world went slightly fuzzy around the edges.

Anael breathed in sharply beside him.

Balthazar flew out of the throne room, stumbling and collapsing to his knees in the meadow he had first met Gabe and Luci in.

They were gone. They were both gone.

And Michael could say it was sacrifice. Michael could say it was some battle. Michael could say it was something unexpected..

Balthazar knew better.

After all, wasn’t it out of Gabriel’s own mouth that condemned every one who agreed with Lucifer to an eternal prison? And wasn’t it just the other day that Gabriel was spouting the same stuff that got Luci banned?

Balthazar clenched his hands tightly around his knees, rocking slightly back and forth.

He felt like he couldn’t breath, and that was silly. He was an angel. He didn’t need to breathe. He shouldn’t have this crushing weight sitting on his chest.

There was something wet trailing down h is cheek and he didn’t have to touch it to know that it was a tear. It seemed throne room announcements brought the tears to the surface.

How was he supposed to save Castiel? How was he supposed to protect little Cassie from the same fate? Heavens, how was _he_ supposed to avoid the same fate? If archangels couldn’t avoid it, what chance did they have?

“Balthazar?”

He tried to sit upright again, but he was sobbing, his body shaking with the force.

Castiel ran across the meadow and dropped to his knees beside Balthazar. He wrapped his arms around the adult angel. “Please don’t cry. What are you? Are you okay? What happened?”

There was a surge of power, and then another fully grown angel wrapped his arms around Balthazar.

Balthazar pushed himself up, staring at the adult Castiel. “…Cassie?”

“Balthazar. I am here for you. I will do whatever it takes to make you better.”

“You…you grew up.”

Little Cassie was gone. The innocence was gone. Luci and Gabe, and now Cassie…

All because of the humans. Because of the little _hairless apes_ that the father created, that was ruining everything in heaven.

Because Gabe was right. There was a war coming. A war between the angels, and it would be obscenely deadly. That was all the angels saw in the humans – all _Michael_ saw.

Following God’s will. The will of a father that wasn’t there – a father that had turned away when one of his first children was cast out on his own orders, and a father that had run away when the humans caused more problems than he expected.

A father that had abandoned all his children.

“I will _never_ leave you, Castiel.” Balthazar gripped Cas’ hands. “No matter what happens, I will stand by your side. If you call me, I will drop everything and fly to you. Damn orders, and damn brothers – you are the most important piece in my existence.” He looked into Castiel’s eyes, studying him. “for all eternity, I am yours, brother.”


	3. And He Shall Not Return to Me

“Up. Down. Left. Parry – parry! Good. Good.” Balthazar bent nearly backwards to avoid Castiel’s swipe with the training blade.

Castiel smiled slightly, and Balthazar mourned the loss of the fledgling’s easy emotions.

The two sparring angels broke off, and Balthazar wiped sweat from his forehead.

“You are an excellent fighter, Balthazar. Why are you not in command yet?”

He shrugged. “I’m not really one for command, Cassie. Not my strength.”

“I am not small anymore. There is no need to babysit me.”

“Who said anything about babysitting?”

“Accompanying me then.”

“I am content where I am. Angels are not really built for ambition, darling.” He put his training sword away and Castiel followed suit.

“Do you know everything there is to know about our kind?”

He chuckled. “it is my job to know things, isn’t it?”

Cas opened his mouth to say something, and then turned as Anael entered and approached them.

“Castiel. Michael has sent us down to earth. There is a nest of vampires that needs to be dealt with.”

Cas nodded. “Of course. I am ready.”

Balthazar frowned. “Anna, isn’t it early-“

“My name is Anael, Balthazar. Michael believes he is ready and our commander does not make mistakes.”

He bit his tongue. “of course, sister.”

Cas moved to Anael’s side, and the two flew down to earth with a flutter of wings.

Balthazar stood, staring at the place where they had disappeared from, and finger the edge of his blade. After a moment, he flew down after them.

He ducked behind a wall as soon as he landed, peaking cautiously around it. Anael was leading the way to a cave, and Castiel was following obediently behind her.

Balthazar shifted uncomfortable, still running his fingers around the edge of his blade. Anael and Michael were right: Castiel was well trained. He wasn’t incompetent. He could handle himself in a fight.

And yet the feeling of unease didn’t abate.

The two angels disappeared into the cave, and Balthazar stepped out from behind the wall and advanced forward. He looked up at the sun that was high in the sky and tried to tell himself that it was probably okay.

There was the telltale flash of light of an angel smiting something, and the cave ahead of him broke into noise and movement.

He cursed, flying into the cave and throwing aside subtlety.

A vampire came from behind him and he stabbed his blade back through its face as he reached out and smote the one that tried to attack him from his front

Anael was trying to get up from the ground, but vampires kept attacking her and she couldn’t get off her knees.

Castiel was backed up against the wall, his blade lost on the floor, and he was desperately trying to smite every vampire that got within reach.

Balthazar suddenly felt much less guilty about following as he dove across the floor and threw Castiel’s blade toward him.

Anael glared at him as she finally managed to regain her feet, but she didn’t say anything as she focused on killing the vampires still in the cave.

Balthazar took up a position in the mouth of the cave, waiting for any vampires that would try to escape.

Castiel straightened and waded back into the vampires, fighting alongside Anael.

With three angels and a bloody battle, soon the bodies littered the floor, and they sheathed their blades.

“Balthazar, what are you doing here?” Anael demanded.

“You took a barely tried angel, and that was all?” he shot back.

“Michael said that was all that was needed.”

“and you just follow orders without thinking?”

“That is-“

“No! You both could have been killed. You are a commander – it is your job to protect those serving under you!”

“Balthazar-“ Castiel tried to interrupt.

“You could have died. You should have brought more angels with you.”

Anael sniffed. “Michael ordered it.”

He grit his teeth and flew back to heaven, leaving them to clean up the vampires.

He stared at the meadow, the place he came when he needed to think and contemplated screaming. Screaming at Gabriel, or maybe even God. Screaming at Michael, for all the good it would do.

So he settled for leaning against a tree and watching the crystal clear stream run past.

Castiel flew in behind him. “Balthazar. It was wrong of you to speak against Michael like that.”

“Why is the truth always wrong?” he asked quietly.

“Balthazar?”

He sighed. “Nothing. It is nothing. Only our father knows the future, there is no way that even Michael can predict everything. It was simply an unfortunate oversight.”

“Even were it not. It would be an honour to give my life to make the world safe for humans, wouldn’t it?”

He nodded automatically. “of course.”

Castiel sat down beside him, smiling slightly. “There was a child. We met him as we were leaving the cave. He had hair the colour of yours.”

Balthazar looked at his brother, confused.

“he wanted to gather flowers for his sister – his mother had been going near the cave at night. We saved her and her family.”

“How noble.” He said wryly.

“How could Lucifer want to harm the humans?”

Balthazar blinked, and then considered his words as he looked back at the stream. He wanted to point out what Lucifer saw. He wanted to point out the poison that the apes could – did – unleash on the world. He wanted to point out that Castiel needed to take care of himself and think before he ran into more trouble he could handle. He wanted to point out that those in authority often made mistakes, and rarely knew what they were doing.

“Lucifer…the humans have so much beautiful potential. They make mistakes, and they choose wrong; but they don’t know the full ramifications, and they deserve better. Lucifer could only see the mistakes, he couldn’t see the good that could be.”

“But surely they could have reasoned with him.”

Balthazar chuckled. “Reason? With Lucifer? Once the archangels make up their mind, that was it. They are stuck on a road that they can’t turn away from – no matter the end.”

Castiel tilted his head. “They are the closest to our father. They must choose correctly.”

“Luci didn’t.” he pointed out.

Castiel frowned. “Balthazar, you must be careful.”

He waved a hand and stood. “I know, I know. I trust in our father’s plan.”

“You should. Our father knows what he is doing.”

“I know. Of course I know, brother. Come, let us take some time and mingle with the humans, hm? I hear there are some places that serve _marvelous_ food.”

“I promised Uriel I would spar with him today.” Castiel stood. “perhaps I will join you later, brother.”

He sighed. “yes. Perhaps.”

* * *

Balthazar walked across the wasteland, gingerly stepping around the barbed wire on habit.

“Help…help me, please…” came a low moan from a particularly muddy patch of barbed wire.

He sighed and leaned down, pressing a finger to the man’s head and watching as the soul left the man’s now dead body. He straightened up again returning to his slow walk across the no-mans land.

“anael?” he called. “anna, Cassie is worried about you.”

He sighed when he didn’t get an answer and continued walking around the battlefield, ignoring the moans and cries of the various men trapped in the wires or wounded by the last volley of warfare.

The sun was coming up over the horizon, illuminating the disastrous scene.

“anna- Anael!” he called again.

There was a flutter of wings, and then she appeared beside him. She was soaked to her knees in blood, and streaked with mud, and her eyes were empty.

He frowned, leaning down and taking her shoulders. “Anael? Anna, what happened?”

“What? Nothing has happened, brother.” She looked out over the battlefield. “What is this?”

“this is war, sister.”

“All the pain…” tears welled in her eyes and she finally looked at him. “Balthazar, where did we go wrong?”

“We…what?”

“We are supposed to protect the humans. They are our younger brothers and sisters. And…and they come to this?” the tears finally tracked down her cheeks.

“Anna. This…humans make their own choices. We are not to interfere with their choices, even when they choose the worse path.”

“How can that be right? How can that ever be good? They are so much younger. Barely more than fledglings – we should be guiding them! Ensuring they choose correctly!” she struggled free of his hands and stepped away, scrubbing her hands over her face and through her hair, streaking it even more with gore.

“help, please-“

She scrambled down the embankment, slipping and sliding until she was on her knees beside a young boy. “he’s what, fifteen? He told them he was old enough. Lied on his papers…” she wrapped her arms around herself. “He’s just a boy, Balthazar.”

He flew down beside her. “Anael, we cannot interfere.”

“why not? Why-“

Balthazar leaned down and put the child out of his misery. “Anna. Sister. Come home. Don’t ask question there aren’t answers to. Cassie is worried about you.”

“the humans…brother, how-“

“our father knows what he is doing.” He helped her to her feet. “Come on. Heaven. Some rest. Your brothers and sisters. This...” he looked around the battlefield. “this will blow over in a few years, and the humans will recover. They will learn – they always do. Trust Michael. Trust our father, hm?”

She leaned into him, and he tried to ignore how disoriented this was making him.

He flew her back to heaven, to the barracks.

Castiel rushed forward when he saw them enter. “Balthazar! Anael…what happened? Did you get attacked?”

Balthazar cut in. “she is simply worn out. She has been working too hard with the war and she is just tired.”

Castiel took hold of their sister, helping her to a bed. “You should take care of yourself, sister.”

She didn’t answer, collapsing in on herself.

Uriel stepped to Balthazar’s side with a frown. “Balthazar. It is unlike you to be so charitable.”

“Cassie was worried,” he said simply.

* * *

“the humans are just tearing themselves to pieces! We should be helping them!” Anael said, pounding her hands on the table.

Michael just looked at her implacably. “there are more important things to worry about. The humans live fast and die faster. They will recover.”

“so, so – so we are just going to stand back and watch as they rip themselves apart again? And how many more times in the future!”

“There are more things to worry about.” He said more emphatically.

“What could be more important than the humans?” Castiel asked, stepping forward. “are they not our ultimate duty?”

Michael looked Castiel over. “One of yours?” he asked Anael.

She looked back and nodded. “One of my lieutenants.”

“you have definitely worked with him.”

“Michael. She is right. They are our siblings. It is our duty to protect them – is that not what our father tasked us with?”

“The humans choose wrong. They need a strong hand to guide them.” Michael said.

“then we should guide them!” she said. “Help them. Make ourselves apparent to them. Teach them.”

“We have other plans. It is time we make earth a true paradise.”

She jerked back, and Castiel frowned in confusion.

“You…you can’t mean that, Michael. You don’t know-“

“of course I know. And it is time. The world is descending into chaos and it needs to be purified.”

“You just mean…like the last time. Right?”

“I mean it is time for the Apocalypse. The world has reached a level of corruption before unseen. It is time that we usher in paradise.”

Anael pressed a hand to her mouth and stepped back from the table.

Castiel stepped forward. “Is it true? Are we finally ready to bring heaven to all of humanity?”

Michael smiled. “Yes. We will defeat evil for all time, and we will finally bring peace to earth.”

Castiel smiled. “good. I am glad to see the end of our father’s plan.”

Anael looked between the two, and then rushed out of the room.

Balthazar hesitated, and then flew after her.

He landed in front of her, grabbing her by the shoulders as she started crying.

“How can he say that? How can he…it will destroy all of them! Wipe them out of existence!” she was frantic. “There has to be another way. There has to….we have to do something. We…we have to do something! I…I will take the battalion, rally the forces… I have friends..” she muttered.

Balthazar shook her. “anael! What are you talking about?”

“Stopping Michael – stopping this foolhardy plan of bringing the apocalypse. We have to. Balthazar, you can help me too. Work with my battalion.”

“and what…go against Michael? Go against our father?”

“to protect the humans. We have to. We must do something different. Michael…he isn’t handling this right.”

“And who are you to decide that? This is Michael we are talking about. The second in command to God himself.”

“Lucifer was right up there, and he was mistaken!”

Balthazar pulled back. “And you would pull your entire battalion into this suicide quest?”

“It is the right thing to do.” She insisted.

He studied her, and then nodded. “Of course, of course…Just…”

He flew her down to earth and pinned her against a tree.

She struggled for a moment, and then slipped his grasp, flying away.

He twisted and grabbed her wing, jerking her back to the ground.

She rolled away and he scrambled on top of her, pinning her to the ground.

“Get off – get off! What are you doing?”

He manifested his blade into his hand and then paused before he drove it into her chest.

“Please, please don’t do this, brother. I have done nothing wrong.”

He sighed. “I know darling. I know…” he sighed, and then put away his blade. “I will give you a second chance.” He reached into her slowly, ignoring her scream. “You will be safer this way, than going toe to toe with Michael and dragging Cassie into it with you.” He worked his fingers around her grace and started pulling it out of her.

“You will be human, Anna. I will set you up and you will be safe.” He promised, ripping the last of her grace out of her and setting about finishing up.

* * *

Castiel stood at the edge of the trees, watching the man fly a kite. He didn’t move, just as he hadn’t for the last…very long time.

Balthazar came up beside him, watching the kite wheel in the sky. “Hey Cassie. I’ve been looking for you.”

“Balthazar.” He said soberly.

“I hear congratulations are in order, Cassie.” He looked down at his brother. “What is this place?”

“It is the heaven of an autistic man. I find it…peaceful here.”

“And do you find the rest of heaven…unpeaceful?”

“I do not believe that is a word.” He said after a moment.

“you get what I mean.” He moved to stand in front of Castiel. “What is it?”

“I feel…uncomfortable, taking Anael’s position.”

“You deserve it. You would be an excellent commander.”

“I do not understand why she would leave on her own.”

“She was upset. I followed her as soon as I could, but it was too late.” He said quietly.

“I do not blame you, brother. I…I should have gone after her as well.”

He patted his brother’s shoulder. “Don’t feel bad, Cassie. None of us are perfect.”

He nodded, going back to watching the kite. “I would like you to join my battalion.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“I know you have your own battalion.” He turned to Balthazar seriously. “But you are my brother and I trust you more than anyone. I want you on my team to watch my back. Please, Balthazar.”

He blinked, and then nodded. “of course, Cassie. I would do anything for you.” He smiled. “You’ll always have little old me.”

* * *

Balthazar leaned back against the wall of the barracks, idly swinging his sword as he watched Uriel and Castiel spar.

Cas threw himself to the ground to avoid a particularly harsh thrust from Uriel and he swiped at the bigger angel’s legs, knocking him to the ground.

“Bravo, Cassie!” Balthazar called, putting away his blade to clap his hands.

Uriel glanced over, and Castiel used the distraction to kick his brother’s blade out of his hands and make the killing blow.

Uriel got up with a sigh. “Balthazar gives an unfair advantage.”

“if you were as good a fighter as you believe you are, darling, you wouldn’t be distracted by my little old self.”

“perhaps I should practice against you next.”

He grimaced and clutched his side suddenly. “I can feel the pain already. I really think I would rather skip that beating, hm?”

“Balthazar. Do not sell yourself short. You are an excellent soldier.” Castiel said, clapping Balthazar on the shoulder as he came to sit beside him.

“You are too kind, brother.” He smiled, and then looked behind them as another angel approached. “To what do we owe the pleasure?”

“Michael has sensed a disturbance in the fabric of time. Castiel. Take another angel and go investigate this event.”

He nodded, and the other angel walked away. He stood up again, and immediately looked to Balthazar. “Brother.”

Balthazar blinked. “of course, Cassie. Whatever you need.”

Uriel frowned. “Is that wise-“

“Balthazar is the one that will accompany me to earth.” Cas said in a tone that brooked no argument.

Balthazar looked back at Uriel, shrugging as he followed his brother down to earth.

They landed in an empty field outside of a house. Cas looked around with a frown. “something is familiar…”

Balthazar was looking around too, and then flew into the house’s dining room. A demon was pinning a boy to the wall, but a demon of his level wouldn’t have had the power to mess with the fabric of time.

Castiel appeared and immediately stepped up to the demon possessed body, fulling intending to follow it as it disappeared, but Balthazar reached out and grabbed his arm.

“the demon isn’t our priority. It wouldn’t have had the power.” He gestured at the boy who was already running out of the house. “And the hunter will handle it, Cassie.”

Cas subsided, stepping around the table to look at the body of the old woman. He sighed. “Priorities…”

“There must be a reason the disturbance would be isolated in this area…” His head snapped up as he could feel the fabric of time being pried open again. “Cas.”

Both angels reappeared in a field not far from the house, just in time to see a young blonde conforting herself with her lover.

Cas stepped around the tail end of the car, looking down at the dead body the demon had obviously recently been possessing.

Balthazar looked around. “Interesting…very interesting.”

“What is, Balthazar?”

“The young hunter. He is gone.”

“Gone?” he looked up.

“Gone. Wiped out. Teleported to the future.”

He frowned. “These people are unimportant…she is a hunter, and he is just a bystander that got wrapped up in it. Why would someone send a hunter back in time to…excorsise the dead man?”

“perhaps he didn’t excorsise it, darling.” He crouched down beside corpse and gently touched its lips. “I believe it fled its vessel.”

Cas felt gently at the edge of time. “it is so..familiar.”

“And fled to hell…” Balthazar summarized with a sigh, standing. “There is no use in following the demon.” He watched as the girl helped her lover get up and get into the car.

“Balthazar. Come feel the energy.”

“Ah, the opportunity to feel someone up. It is like you know me, cassie.” He smirked and came to stand by the other angel, reaching out and feeling the power.

He jerked his hand back after a moment as if he had been stung and slowly turned to look at Castiel.

“what is it, Balthazar?”

He swallowed. “The power. It…it burnt itself out.” He pushed out. “It…whatever it was, it burnt itself out and destroyed itself trying to bring the hunter back. Both were lost.” He said quietly, watching Cas carefully.

“Then our job here is done. We were too late to change any of the events, and the cause is dealt with. Come. You owe me a practice session.” He said with a smile before flying back to heaven.

Balthazar swallowed again, staring at where the car was finally pulling away, and then looking up to heaven. He tamped down his prayers – his worry.

Because he knew that power signature. He knew that tag. Knew it as intimately as he knew himself.

He should. He had sworn himself to its protection. And here was incontrovertible proof that at some point in the future, Castiel was going against the angelic laws.

He had to do better. Had to stop whatever this was. Had to keep Cas safe.

* * *

Balthazar paced in the back of the room while Castiel leaned over the table, planning.

“This is a horrible idea, Cassie.”

“Michael has decided it is necessary. With proper planning, even this is possible.”

Balthazar came back, leaning against the table. “this is _hell_ we are talking about. One doesn’t just waltz in there and get whatever they want. Especially when we are angels, and they are demons. We seem to have an ancient rivalry of sorts, or have you forgotten that?”

“of course not, Balthazar. We are being sent to retrieve the Righteous Man from hell as he is necessary for the Apocalypse.”

“You and whose army?”

“the angelic host.” He looked up. “Of course.”

“I am not even sure that all the host could fight there way down to wherever the demons have Dean Winchester stashed, darling.”

“I am bringing the best fighters down with us. There is no need to worry.”

Balthazar went back to pacing. “Castiel…”

He straightened. “Balthazar. We can do this. Michael would not give this task if he did not believe we could accomplish it.”

Balthazar stopped moving.

Castiel came up beside him. “Brother. We can do this. To save the humans.”

He turned and looked at his brother’s hopeful, confident eyes. “…Alright, Cassie. Into the fires of hell we go….”

Castiel smiled, and they both went back to the planning table. “we will bring our entire battalion, and Haniel’s as well. There is no way to fly into hell, so we will enter through the gates and fight our way into its center.”

Balthazar hummed. “And if we fail?”

“We will not fail.”

He frowned. “then a backup plan.”

“We do not need one. We will rescue the righteous man and return the way we came.”

“Cassie…even god had a backup plan.”

He frowned, looking up. “That is blasphemy, brother. Our father is omniscient.”

“of course, of course.” He backtracked, holding his hands up. “But you are not our father. You are not all knowing.”

“Michael would not send us on this mission if there was no chance of success.”

“Cas-“

“Balthazar. You are not questioning our brother and father, are you?”

He blinked. “…of course not.

“good.” He looked back down at the plans. “We leave soon.”

He nodded, and backed mutely out of the room.

* * *

He stood at the edge of the nursery, now empty since all the fledgelings were long grown and joined the ranks. He snapped up a glass of wine and stepped into the room.

“….I don’t know what I’m doing.” He admitted out loud. “I don’t know what will happen. I don’t know why you left us, or where you went but… Cassie doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t…”

He took a sip of the wine and closed his eyes.

“Father. Please. If you are still listening, stop this. You can do anything. This doesn’t have to go down like this. You say the word and all this will stop. We can try something different – something better.”

He slumped, letting his head hang.

“What do you want, god? Our undying devotion? Blind obedience? Because you have that. But _he doesn’t deserve this!_ ” he screamed. “He deserved to get to know you! To get to know his brothers and sisters as siblings and not as soldiers. We all deserved to know you!”

He threw the glass he held and watched as it shattered against the wall. “we never saw you after Luci was gone. You couldn’t bear to watch it, could you.” He sighed.

“Please. I know you don’t know him. I know you said to care for the humans but…bloody hell, I care about _him_! I will always care about him, no matter how blasphemous that makes me, but I will move heaven and earth to keep him safe.”

He straightened, determined. “I will make sure he survives all the mistakes you have made, father, and no one will ever stop me.”

* * *

“I told you! I told you we couldn’t do this!” he stabbed his blade through the chest of another demon and spun to smite the one lunging for Uriel’s back.

Castiel didn’t dignify that with a response, too busy with a skirmish of his own.

Their force was significantly cut down. The amount of angels still with them was less than two hands worth. They were nearly to the place where the Winchester soul was, but they still had to make the return trip, and the numbers were not in their favour.

Balthazar cursed, slammed up against a wall by a demon while he was distracted taking count of their numbers. He slammed his head into the creature’s face and smote it while it jerked back. He maneuvered to Cas’ side, watching his back.

“Balthazar. You-“

“Shut up, Cassie. This is my place.” He snapped, killing another demon and looking at the throng rushing to them as though they were making any difference.

“Castiel! The soul!”

They made it to the door. Somehow they had made it to the door.

There was a flash of grace, and Haniel went down under the press of demons.

Balthazar wanted to curse. He wanted to swear against every power in existence.

They turned into the cell, and saw the righteous Man torturing the soul on the rack as though he had been doing it for years.

Castiel reached in and grabbed the soul, clutching it close as the angels closed rank around him.

There was no way they were going to make it. That soul was never leaving hell, and this was a suicide run.

Balthazar wondered if Michael had known that. If he had known that there was no making it back for them.

He turned to look at Cas, saw the horrified grief in his brother’s eyes as yet another angel was slain.

“Take him out of here, Cassie.”

“What?”

“you heard me. You will take him out of here.”

“Balthazar, what are you doing?”

He turned to uriel. “Guard my brother.”

The bigger angel didn’t respond.

Balthazar ducked into a room beside them, seeing all the souls laid out for the demons like screaming shish kebabs. Praying to a god he wasn’t sure he believed in, he swallowed enough of them to make his power stronger by tenfold. He returned to the path they had carved into hell with a sick feeling that had nothing to do with the new power.

Castiel and the two angels that remained were still fighting, but had made hardly any progress.

Balthazar flew up beside them and wrapped his arms around Castiel in a tight hug. “Remember the humans, Brother.”

Cas looked confused, and then he looked horrified.

Balthazar smiled.

Then he flipped his blade around and drove it into his own chest.

Dying hurt more than he thought it would. He wondered if this was what the fires of hell felt like for souls: an eternal burning that ate at every soul and felt like it went on and on and on even though it was over in the blink of an eye.

He could see Castiel gripping the soul tight and flying it out of hell in the wake the backlash of superpowered grace left, and Balthazar closed his eyes.

His role in the story was over.

It was time for Castiel to take over.


End file.
